3D: Dali-ing Around

Red/Cyan 3D glasses are needed to view these photos, and fully understand the symbbolism of the art.

You have to love Salvador Dali, he of the melting clocks, lobster telephones and lollipops. When I was last in Vancouver, I saw a display of some of his art. This was a display shown by Vancouver’s Challi Rosso art gallery(although there were not shown in their actual gallery), so thanks to them for putting these on display. Especially because I’m tired of thinking about spiders, so I’m glad to enrich my life by showing some fine art instead.

Back In high school, I did fairly well in my English class, but I absolutely hated dissecting a story. Especially trying to find the hidden synbolism; if you want to say something, just SAY it! Needless to say, I’ve since wiped all knowledge of cybolism from my mind on general principles, and I refuse to remember anything about it. ANYTHING. I don’t want to have to analyze a pretty piece of art to understand it. The same goes with movies and books; I will only be interested in them if most of the sympolism is replaced with explosions(still artistic because the explosions symbalize conflict). I mean that literally; I don’t want to read about an explosion; I want the book to explode as a warning when I get to the boring pages, but leave the interesting parts untouched.

With that in mind, I’ll probably just post these photos without much in the way of text. Just enjoy the pictures.

No, really.

I mean it! I’m not the right person to talk about art. I don’t analyze art. I don’t think about art. I don’t art at all. Any explanation of art by me would be a variation of ‘ Oh, that’s pretty.’ or ‘Who would buy that piece of $&!%?’. If I tried really hard, I could probably make something up about the simbolism and sound pretentious.

No… that’s not right. I could sound like a poorly educated idiot who thinks he sounds smart by being pretentious. Of course I wouldn’t…

…Actually, that sounds like fun! In fact, Dali was known for his pranks, so he’d probably approve. If not, he can email me. New plan. I shall instead discuss the symbolizm of this art, and shower you all with my wisdom.

Lets get cultured!

The Salvador Dali exhibit was on display in that most artistic of places: a shopping mall. The mall simbelizes consumerism. I cannot say who designed the mall, but there is no evidence I could find that it WAS NOT Dali, despite skimming the mall webpage once. Therefore, I will assume that he did design it. However,there is a hidden symmbol too. The display was near a water fountain. This is a reference to the seminal Dali masterpiece ‘The Fountain’ which forever changed the art world in 1917. These layers and layers of sybbolism reflect the layers Dali used to hide his true identity. Dali, only thirteen years old, used the alias of Marcel Duchamp, who in turn used the alias of R Mutt. Dali had created this persona in 1887, seventeen years before he was born, and as Marcel Duchamp, married two women and died in 1968(which was a practice run for his other death in 1989). To make things more complicated, Dali, perhaps in a piece of performance art, made a close friendship with his persona Duchamp, and the two were photographed together many times.

The large melting clock is facing away from the camera in this photograph. Obviously, this symbullises that time does not exist outside the gallery, only within it. Therefore, the bystander is left to ponder the question “does time freeze outside the gallery, or do the past and future exist simultaneously?”. The fact that I have taken what is a static photo of the gallery would hint that the former is the case. On the other hand, how did I press the shutter button if time was frozen? The answer: I pressed it very, very, quickly. Obviously.

This also means that the perimeter of the gallery was very crowded, as once people left, they froze at the edge. However, as the light froze as well, this crowd cannot be seen. Using his alias of Albert Einstein, Dali explored this relationship with light in more detail in many award-winning essays.

This is a stark warning by Salvador Dali about an overlooked risk of climate change: namely, the low melting point of many timepieces of his time. As the climate begins to warm, clocks and even watches will have difficulty functioning. Sundials will obviously become increasingly inaccurate, as the warmer temperatures mean that the sun is moving faster. Thankfully, his warning was heeded, and new laws mandated that the melting point of metals be raised. Less obvious but worth pointing out: The clock simbpalises timekeeping devices.

This piece of artwork, and other framed art at the exhibit, symbolizez Dali’s contempt for the modern 3D photographer. These are 2D, but pretend to look 3D. It is a pathetic attempt to fit in, which is intentional. Go away, 2D, this blog is not for you! Come back with the right amount of dimensions!

As humans have opposable thumbs, it is fair to assume that the thumb sembolizes technology. Like humans, monkeys also have thumbs, but this thumb is made from brick. Monkeys do not make bricks, as they are too heavy to place in the trees. The branches coming out of the thumb, on the other hand, symblize tree climbing, as they represent the many, many slivers that might injure the thumb when grasping a tree. Humans cannot climb trees, as it is too hard to carry the bricks up. This piece, therefore, represents duality between Man and Monkey. How is this duality resolved? The figure on the left is being turned into a tree, suggesting that nature will win over technology. Unless it is a tree turning into a man, in which case technology wins out. The angel on the right is exasperated and has a headache. They are just tired of this conflict, and thinking of a change of career. Something involving melting clocks sounds like it would be interesting, and offer more prospects for promotion. However, if you walk around the sculpture to the other side, the treeman is on the right, and the angel is on the left. This clever trick exemplifies a change of perspective.

KISSY COUCH! IT’S A KISSY COUCH!

Kissy couch.

Another melting clock, this time on a tree. It should already be obvious to even the most uncultured swine, but the tree symbolices a clock, and the clock sambolizes a tree. The fact that the tree is on top of the clock represents Dali’s interpretation of a natural law, namely that it takes time for trees to grow. Except bamboo… that sucker stretches up like a rocket. Is bamboo a tree? It is a question for the ages. Dali cleverly answers it in the very same sculpture: The ground symibolizes Bamboo. The meaning of this is clear enough, and does not need to be explained.

The similarity between this sculpture and the Statue of Liberty(designed by Dali under the alias of Gustav Eiffel) cannot be understated. Like the Statue of Liberty, this figure is holding a timekeeping device in one hand, (a modern tablet with a calender app in the case of the Statue of Liberty, versus an obsolete melted clock in the case of this sculpture), and both are 93 metres high. However, this sculpture appears smaller, about a foot high, due to optical illusions. The biggest contrast between the two is that while the Statue of Liberty has a dirty, polluting, torch, this statue has an organic duster made from a rose, and is cleaning the sky. This statue(and time itself) therefore symbolizez antiliberty, and Dali had planned an epic third sculpture featuring a bloody duel between the two statues.

The melting clock has now developed tentacles. It has breached the line between inanimate and animate objects, and will now move independently. Does this reflect the first moments of consciousness in a species, the moment when it changes from stimulus/response to actively pursuing a course of action? Does Dali think that molten timepieces, or even climate change itself, are on the edge of sentience? Think on it. This growing threat is due to the angel neglecting his duties, as he is nursing a migraine. Is this the same angel from #6? Perhaps. Finally, the naked women is trying to hide under a thin sheet. This symmalizes the futility of hiding from climate change. It is also representative of the lack of clear thinking during a panic. The Tentacled Meltyclock does not have eyes, so hiding under a blanket is an ineffective strategy for survival. Remain calm and cleaheaded in an emergency.

Unlike the previous artwork, this does not symbolite anything. It is a literal representation of a once common problem. Unicorns are unable to maneuver effectively in modern cities, due to the length of their horns. This conflict causes both injury to the animal(as displayed by the drop of blood) and damage to property(As shown by the hole in the wall). This is why unicorns are rarely seen in developed regions of the world. The floor is made of sleeping naked ladies, as was the normal Art Deco style at the time.

I hope that this tour through the mind of a master has left you all educated, enlightened and enriched. Enjoy your newfound knowledge and culture, and spread this wisdom to others.

The above cameras were taken with dual Canon SX600 IS cameras, which stimbolize photography. The fact that I misspelled ‘symbolize’ differently every time symboilizes that I really don’t know anything about it, and I should stick to taking pretty pictures.